ohmeliss.

“The tool, dubbed Shaved Bieber, evaluates any page a person is browsing and censors all mentions of the teen idol. It works on every site, from Twitter to Google to Wikipedia. People can even go to his personal home page and watch as every mention of Bieber is blocked out.”

Does someone mind extending this tool? So that every time I turn on the TV, I don’t have to hear Baby or that IMMENSELY IRRITATING Waving Flag song, I don’t have to hear anything about teenage girls fighting each other over t-shirts of this ridiculous boy, or that a 45-year-old woman was hospitalized for trying to grab at him (don’t think it’s happened yet, but it wouldn’t surprise me). When I walk down the streets, all Justin Bieber paraphernalia will be blacked out or replaced by better musicians, all conversation about him will cease, news agencies will change their coverage…aaahhhhh….

EXCEPTION: Videos of Bieber walking into glass doors. Or the announcement that he has fallen off the face of the earth. Or acquired a nasty drug habit, a DUI, or has ended up in jail.

Also, while we’re at it, can we eliminate every mention or status update about: True Blood, Glee (this censor will be able to tell when I am especially irritated by Glee, or when I don’t care.), Lady Gaga, Kesha, and any band with an exclamation mark in their name.

AND U2. If the censor could kindly fabricate a story about U2 disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle and no one noticing or caring, that would be excellent.

Do I ask so much?